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Change a Letter, Change the World

The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it  by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supplying a new definition.
Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.    

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a Hillbilly.    

5. Bozone (n): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.  The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.    

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.     

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.     

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.    

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.    

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.  (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.     

12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.    

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.     

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.     

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.   

16. Beelzebug (n): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.